Dear CEO of Three…

ThreeI thought it worthy of dropping a quick note to you, congratulating you as CEO of Three.

Your consistency is ground-breaking! I have never known a single person, entity, organisation or company be so absolutely dire at servicing it’s customers. A while ago I took mobile broadband with you. Alas, was I to know that the stress in dealing with you would cause me so much angst, I would have gladly taken on an entire fleet of carrier pigeons to carry information back and forth, it would have at the very least proved quicker than trying to communicate with your representatives.

For years I have dealt with O2; the dulcet tones of a helpful Geordie customer services hero, happy to be doing their job, and me happy to be speaking to them, are at my beck and call. Oh the differences between yours and O2’s customer service are too numerous to mention.

Today, was the straw that took my blood pressure into a dangerous place.
To change a Direct Debit instruction today took 18 minutes. That is not a typo, it took 18 minutes of my life, which I will never get back. Your company has become a stranding joke in my office, when I have to deal with you I put half an hour into my diary. I have a Dulux colour chart that progressively matches my colour based on the number of inane and idiotic operators that you employ/allow to seek refuge inside your buildings. I sometimes question whether literacy is a prerequisite for a job with you; as it’s clear knowledge of the English language only falls into a desirable trait, rather that mandatory one.

I pay large amounts of money to other companies, but their competent and professional operators make it seem worthwhile. The £15 a month I am obliged to provide you is the most regrettable £15 I see on my statement every month.

They say that no amount of marketing beats word of mouth, I am afraid to say then, that when it comes to speaking to friends and family, I don’t just say “Speak to someone at O2, they’ll sort you out”, I now add emphatically, “But for god’s sake, don’t touch Three”, even if you are the last mobile operator on earth, I would gladly resign myself to an informationless and technologically destitute life. And I’d still be happy.

4 thoughts on “Dear CEO of Three…

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