Cats prevent mobile usage

Kitten being tickled by ownerI love my phone. It keeps me in touch, there’s a world of information to delve within and I can speak to people whilst skirting their presence.

O2 like the fact that I like my phone, and for £40 month why wouldn’t they? I love O2’s customer service; in complete reciprocity to Three, they just get it right time and again.

My phone was, in part, sold to me under the guise of being able to connect to the internet, and when hooked up to my seemingly overpriced Sky broadband does so brilliantly. Even with Jasper listening to Spotify and Mandy surfing FaceBook/eBay, I’m still able to browse to my heart’s content.

Why then, am I unable to access the sprawling rainforest of information that is the world wide web, when my phone isn’t suckling from the teat of Mr Murdoch? I think I might make a claim against O2 for mis-advertising this shiny bit of glass that lies beneath my thumbs. For some reason they call it a mobile, when the reality of its actual abilities aren’t quite realised because there are too many videos of cats being watched, thus leaving no bandwidth for my very important activities that are absolutely necessary.

I’m one step short of dragging a LAN cable around with me, as connecting to the 3G system is more comparable to queuing for Nemesis at Alton Towers. Don’t get me started on that godforsaken place, that’s for another time.

They say that 4G will revolutionise surfing the web on ‘mobiles’…

Will it buggery. Content will become richer, and the river that is the information to your phone will be just as dried up and arid. Only in bigger proportions.

Please for the love of Jebus, O2, stop dishing out phones to every man and his dog, without investing more money in the hardware necessary for our phones to be useful.

I’m now looking forlornly into my tiny little portal to the web, perpetually fogged by an incessantly slow loading bar… trying in vain to upload this blog.

Whilst I was waiting, I found this video of a cat, its pretty cute I’m sure you’ll agree.

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